Monday, July 28, 2014

Retreating to The Lord When the World Gets a Little Too Scary



“And when he was come thither, he abode in a cave: and behold the word of the Lord came unto him, and he said to him: What dost thou here, Elias? And he answered: With zeal have I been zealous for the Lord God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant: they have thrown down thy altars, they have slain thy prophets with the sword, and I alone am left, and they seek my life to take it away.” (1 Kings 19: 9-10)

After Jezebel sought revenge upon Elijah, he was “afraid” and fled into the desert. There he lamented, but God heard his cries. And the Lord spoke to Elijah and he knew that he had not been forsaken. God gave him new directions, and fortified with these commands, Elijay returned to the world and did as the Lord told him. And, in this, we all have much to learn: it is never shameful to flee away from the dangers of the evil one; especially when one feels completely overwhelmed and unprepared for battle; that its okay to cry out to Our Lord when we are frustrated and feeling abandoned; and, lastly, sometimes we are going to be just plain afraid. Only, this is not usual. For example, regarding St. Francis of Assisi: “In the clefts of the rock he would build his nest and in the hallow places of the wall his dwelling…He would go alone to pray at night in churches abandoned and located in deserted places, where, under the protection of divine grace, he overcame many fears and many disturbances of mind.” Therefore, when we are troubled or confounded, we must retreat, pray earnestly to the Lord, and be open to the Graces He will pour down upon us. Then, and only then, are we able to return to the outside world. 



Saturday, July 26, 2014

Gay Olympic Gold Medalist Was an Abused Boy


A new biography about former Olympic Gold Medalist in Figure Skating John Currey reveals much concerning his traumatic childhood, later slid into homosexuality, and eventual death from AIDS:
From his very earliest years, John Currey had wanted to be a ballet dancer — a former au pair with the family, remembers him skipping constantly from room to room or waltzing silently through the house. But his hard-drinking, domineering, factory-owner father Joseph was implacably set against such things. He did, however, agree to allow the seven-year-old to take ice-skating lessons, although he rarely made the time to watch him. John himself would later recollect that his father seemed to spend his time either recovering from a drinking bout or planning the next one. But in 1965 the family’s life was thrown into turmoil. On the morning of December 30, John’s father’s lifeless body was found by a chambermaid in a bedroom at a hotel in London. At the inquest, it was ruled that “Joseph Curry, 50, an engineer, had taken his own life by poisoning, self-administered.” The effect of his father’s apparent suicide on the then 16-year-old John was extraordinary. “We were delighted,” he later told a close friend. “We were happy. We were free of him.”
By the age of 18, Curry had moved to London to take up skating full-time and had signed up for the longed-for ballet lessons. He had also, after some years of confusion and uncertainty about his sexuality, fallen in love with another man: a Swiss skating coach named Heinz Wirz. However, Curry’s personal life had a darker, more sinister side, too. Heinz Wirz refers to it as Curry’s “dangerous appetite:” a private need for extreme — and often violent — sex. It would ultimately lead to his destruction. On a visit back to England for an eight-week run of a new — and successful — skating show, Curry was badly beaten up in west London. He never fully recovered from the injuries. In 1987 Curry was diagnosed with HIV, and in 1991 with AIDS. Before his death, he spoke openly to the press about both his disease and his sexual orientation. He spent the last years of his life with his mother. He died of an AIDS-related heart attack on April 15 1994; he was 44 years old. Currey died penniless, somewhat forgotten, and with few to mourn him.

Author’s note: The John Curry story, sad to admit, is a tragic, but hopelessly familiar one: an effeminate little boy who grows up with an unapproving father, gets into homosexuality, and then dies frustrated and lonely. This is most heartbreakingly revealed in Currey’s first lover, an older authority figure, his obsession with violent sexual practices, and his extremely poignant attempt to find an ever elusive happiness. 


Indian Study Looks at the Rape-Porn Connection

After a series of highly publicized and particularly gruesome gang rape incidents in India, beginning with:
The gang rape of a 23-year old student on a public bus, on 16 December 2012, sparked large protests across the capital Delhi. She was with a male friend who was severely beaten with an iron rod during the incident. This same rod was used to penetrate her so severely that the victim's intestines had to be surgically removed, before her death thirteen days after the attack;
a study found that 40% of Indian young people watch “rape porn” regularly, organization Rescue said, based on a sample survey it conducted covering 200 undergraduate male students across 10 colleges. According to their survey, 76% of the surveyed students said that watching pornography involving rape led to the desire to rape; 47% of these students ended up watching child porn. One of the studies’ directors said: “All of the students were already watching porn, 50% of them were now watching violent porn. Watching pornography is a progressive addiction. When it no longer satisfies you, you turn to violent porn or child porn.”
In India, the rape-porn connection is important because many of these high-profile crimes involved not a single perpetrator, but an actual gang-rape. This is significant, because in the vast majority of violent porn, women are raped by a group of men. The last major gang-rape incident in India happened in May 2014 when two girls aged 14 and 16 were gang raped in the northern state of Uttar Pradesh. The girls were then murdered and hanged from a tree. 



Friday, July 25, 2014

50 Shades of Grey: The Movie From Hell and the Truth About BDSM


On St. Valentine’s Day 2015, the horrendous book “50 Shades of Grey,” will be released as a major motion picture. The plot revolts around a seemingly mousy female college graduate and her sado-masochistic sexual relationship with a domineering business magnate. So far, only the trailer for the film has been made public, but, like the book, it glamorizes and offers up BDSM as a viable sexual alternative. In reality, these very dark practices literally open a supernatural door into the demonic. 
I was first introduced into the evil world of bondage and discipline by a cabal of much older and wealthy homosexual men in San Francisco. With them, I always played the dominant role. At the time, because I was so unsure of my own masculinity, it somehow bolstered that slight grasp that I had on a very tenuous sort of manliness. It was as if, the devil promised me: beat these men and I will make you a master of them all. I listened; I did as I was told. Later, when I got older, and less desirable, I realized that the devil had lied to me. For, I was still trapped in the mind of this insecure little boy. Then, I just gave up and allowed myself to be hit and abused by more aggressive men, whom I thought: would somehow ritualistically initiate me into manhood. These satanic circuses were fully exposed and recognized in my endless study of occultism from Aleister Crowley to Anton LaVey.
Far from what “50 Shades” tries to communicate, BDSM is not a harmless sexual experiment: because, it attracts those with extremely serious and deep psychological wounds; particularly individuals with a need for exaggerated masculine idols or an indefinable desire to be punished. Like the chronically depressed or the survivors of childhood neglect, who self-medicate themselves with alcohol or drugs, it’s a masking agent which provides a momentary step into bliss, but always leaves you slipping and crashing down to the floor - actually to hell itself. This occurs, because, during those times of eroticized torture, the devil draws very close and offers you the world. But, in the end, he delivers nothing. For myself, I almost realized this fact too late. The night of my unforeseen conversion, I took part in the most extreme scene I ever could have imagined. Only, beforehand, the devil said that if I submitted, this would be the quick and final solution to all of my problems. I was desperate, so I agreed - and was taken to the very edge of damnation. My sole reason for still being alive? A long disregarded and forgotten figure from my past took pity on me; and His name is Jesus Christ. 




Thursday, July 24, 2014

AIDS and Anal Sex Endemic in San Francisco’s Gay Community



According to the 2012 “HIV/AIDS Epidemiology Annual Report” issued by the San Francisco Department of Public Health: from 2008 to 2012, HIV infections in the City have been predominantly localized within the gay male community; 88% of all infections in San Francisco were in homosexual men. Most shockingly, despite the well-known risks, between 2006 and 2012, the percent of HIV-negative MSM who reported unprotected anal intercourse always remained over 38% and was as high as 63% in 2010. This reckless disregard for their own lives is undeniable proof that homosexuals are driven by urges and psychological longings which cannot be compared to, or defined in the same terms as, heterosexual relationships. 

Link to report:



Wednesday, July 23, 2014

According to CDC: AIDS is a Disease Primarily Among Young Gay Men





The Castro: Gay Death Zone of San Francisco




According to a report published by the San Francisco Department of Public Health: in 2012, compared to heterosexual males, MSM in the City are at significantly higher risk of early syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia:
– Risk of early syphilis is 117.0 times higher in MSM compared to heterosexual males
– Risk of gonorrhea is 8.6 times higher in MSM compared to heterosexual males
– Risk of chlamydia is 27.2 times higher in MSM compared to heterosexual males
Most of the infections are concentrated in the Castro area and surrounding neighborhoods. In addition, there were 15,861 San Franciscans living with HIV/AIDS by the end of 2010. Most were male (92%) and white (63%). In addition, nearly three-quarters of all HIV/AIDS cases were among men who have sex with men (MSM.) The neighborhoods with the highest numbers of people living with HIV/AIDS are the Castro, Mission, and Western Addition.

Author’s note: From the 1970s onwards, the Castro District has been mythologized in the gay consciousness through everything from films to disco songs: way back in The Village People’s “San Francisco” and most recently through the HBO series “Looking.” What I remember most about arriving in the Castro during the late-1980s, was the still evident effects of AIDS: noticeably sick men walking about like the living dead. Now, that I have returned to help my gay brothers and sisters, the scene has changed: restlessness, anxiety, and disease are still pervasive, but the reality is hidden underneath mega-doses of ant-viral cocktails, male-hormone energy drinks, and liberal amounts of meth. Most tragically, there are more young people, but they all look old.

Link to San Francisco report: