Thursday, May 28, 2015

Prominent Cardinal Goes Gay and Wants the Rest of the Church to Go With Him

“…attention for what people with their different talents and biographies can bring to the Body of Christ, the people of God,” says Marx in his homily. It is true, a welcoming culture for all people in the parishes to create the church associations and movements, where everyone can speak their language and will yet understood: “the drawn Northerners and Bavaria, the middle class and the wealthy, the unemployed and the directors of the banks, the Greens and the Blacks, homosexuals and heterosexuals, the divorced and the marriage anniversaries, the refugees and the mountain soldiers.” Every human being who could be led by the Spirit of God “proclaims the Good News for others. In it we are all equal. Not the differences include, but what unites us.” ~ Cardinal Reinhard Marx (5/24/15)

Cardinal Reinhard Marx is the most prominent member of the German hierarchy pushing for greater acceptance of homosexuality in the Catholic Church; specifically at the upcoming Fall Synod on the Family. Not new to controversy: in 2011, Marx was reported as saying that the Catholic Church “has not always adopted the right tone” toward LGBT people. He went on to add that, while he cannot officially bless a union between two people of the same sex, he can (and implicitly will) pray for their relationship if asked. Recently, during his Homily for Pentecost, Marx included homosexuals in a lengthy comparison of different economic, social and ethnic groups and how these seemingly divergent communities can bring their unique “talents” into the Church for the betterment of all. Sadly, this statement reveals a serious lack in understanding concerning the origins and current reality of the gay lifestyle; it exposes simplicity in thought and a shockingly twisted sense of how gay men and women express their sexuality. First of all, Marx, by paralleling homosexuals with heterosexuals is creating a false analogy – that one is similar to the other; it also skillfully perpetuates the “born this way” theory, gives one the same status as the other, and, at the same time, diminishes homosexuality, and, raises it’s significance, by lumping it together with the arbitrary, like economic position, and the uncontrollably inherent – like ethnicity.
I have seen this sort of blind acceptance towards the current reimagining of the gay libertine into a domestic picture of monogamous bliss in a certain group with a seemingly sophisticated educational background and a penchant for finer living – i.e. the wealthy liberal conclaves in the US converging around New York, LA, and San Francisco as capitals for gay rights and the epicenters of the gay marriage movement. Marx inhabits the German equivalent: when the Vatican suspended and ousted German prelate Bishop Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst in 2013 over his alleged lavish spending, Cardinal Reinhard Marx was also criticized as he spent around $11 million renovating the archbishop’s residence and another $13 million for a guesthouse in Rome. In these rarified environments, a certain salon atmosphere of intellectual adventurism and self-preening takes over – those who join in are exposed to a very narrow example of the gay experience; in most cases, to those homosexuals most interested in changing the Church’s position; as a template, these advocates have taken the enormous successes of the same-sex marriage campaign: by repackaging homosexuality as a natural variation – capable of the same ethical and moral highpoints as heterosexuality.
Those without a personal investment, or with the fortitude and courageousness to look beyond the propaganda, discover that homosexuals are deeply wounded, desperate, and angry people: in every study conducted, homosexuals have significantly higher rates of childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and molestation, than heterosexuals; homosexual men have more than 3X as many sex partners as straight men; and, consequently, are 140X more likely to contract HIV or syphilis than heterosexual men.* These facts do not warrant a nonchalant inclusion of homosexuality with other German demographics – no more than would the common cold be legitimately compared with more serious diseases such as cancer, heart disease, or AIDS; doing so, makes distinctions irrelevant and most tragically condemns some to an imprisoned existence that they actually have a choice to leave. Cardinal Marx has neutered the Church – took away Her ability to change lives and Save souls. Because? In his opinion, there is nothing wrong with being gay.  

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Media Mind-benders Using Porn to Turn Children into Gays

According to a research paper, “Comparative data of childhood and adolescence molestation in heterosexual and homosexual persons,” published in Archives of Sexual Behavior (2001 Oct;30[5]:535-41) “…gay men and lesbian women reported a significantly higher rate of childhood molestation than did heterosexual men and women. 46% of the homosexual men in contrast to 7% of the heterosexual men reported homosexual molestation. 22% of lesbian women in contrast to 1% of heterosexual women reported homosexual molestation.”

In the age of internet pornography, some of the largest consumers of on-line porn are boys under the age of 18; in fact, by age 18: 93% of boys have viewed porn with most first exposures occurring between the ages of 12 and 15. Tragically, 69% of boys have seen pornography depicting gay sex; 39% reported viewing bondage porn; and, 32% had witnessed images of bestiality.* Merely seeing, even if it’s just once, such perverse and violent pictures, especially while a child or teen, generates a manufactured environment of trauma; recreating certain effects and emotions once exclusive to physical molestation; it’s a high-tech rape of the mind. In some individuals, in particular young males who have already been wounded by a lack of masculine role model, or because of effeminacy and subsequent bulling at school, the shock of seeing gay porn can become radically embedded; this can happen easily with gay porn as it often reconstructs a limited number of homosexual scenarios: the father/son seduction, athlete/wimp, etc., often with an overt aggressive/passive dynamic. For instance, I will never forget the first time I got my hands on an X-rated video tape: starring an underage Traci Lords, and watching semi-horrified as she screamed in apparent fits of agony. Now, I can understand all of that as an example of bad over-acting, but as a child, it shocked me: setting-up a certain fears within me; then, oftentimes, the psyche deals with anxieties by burying them in the sub-conscious, later eroticizing those same memories which in-turn makes them normalized. In this way, so many men and women who had been sexually victimized as children later swerve towards homosexuality as they subconsciously attempt to deal with the trauma by repeating it. And, the same often goes for those who have been exposed to pornography: especially in the case of gay porn – when children are at first revolted and shocked by it – then, become embarrassed and shameful when it begins to excite them; this process of attraction to that which was before abhorrent goes part and parcel with porn addiction. Subsequently, because certain children are repeatedly drawn towards gay porn, they make the assumption that they are indeed gay.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Saint Predicted That Catholic Ireland Would One Day Go Gay; or Growing Up With An Irish Jesus

“Should your faithful forsake your church,
Their time will be a time of tribulation;
Evil customs will prevail in it;
It shall be changed from Paradise to hell.”
~ Notes on the Life of St Brendan, Irish Ecclesiastical Record, Vol.VIII (1872). 

In 1997, the newly elected President of Ireland, Mary McAleese, had this to say about the changing face of the Irish priest: “The dynamics of priesthood have altered radically along fault lines some of which have yet to be openly acknowledged and explored. Women have observed the enormous drain of heterosexual males from the priesthood and the growing phenomenon of gay priests.” Them in 2011, the Apostolic Visitation to the Irish Church, headed by Archbishop Dolan of New York City, found that: “Irish seminaries are hotbeds of serious moral decay which is devastating the Church in this country. Their culture is one that rejects piety and holiness in favor of religious laxity and moral confusion. This is resulting in priests who barely believe in the doctrine they are ordained to promote;” of the Irish national major seminary, the last in Ireland, the report stated: “[it] suffers from the reputation of being ‘gay friendly.’”  Therefore, it’s not surprising that in the Irish capital of Dublin, weekly Mass attendance is down to about 14% - a major drop considering that nationally it was once as high as 85%. On May 22, 2015, Irish voters overwhelmingly passed (62% vs. 38%) a Constitutional Amendment that legalized gay marriage. 

Author’s note: As a child, I had visions of an Irish Jesus - for every priest I ever knew, and a majority of the religious sisters, spoke with a distinct brogue. Although they were generally kind, they fostered a peculiar form of Catholicism that swerved from the insubstantial to the point of evaporation when we were kids to blatantly Marxist as high school teenagers. Consequently, my first impression of Jesus was as a man who fell somewhere between Bing Crosby in “Going My Way” and the wimpy hippie-throwback characterization of Christ in “Godspell;” a loveable do-gooder who ultimately failed at lasting relevancy. For us kids, the sisters were somewhat laughable for their adherence to Simon & Garfunkel while the priests seemed distant and neutered; my foremost strong memory - of an Irish associate pastor who compelled all of us in the 4th grade class to question everything about our Faith; according to his theology: the best Catholics were those who accepted nothing. For some reason, what he said always stuck with me - and, I never forgot it. 
In high school, catechism centered around the primacy of the personal conscious - that thing in my mind that had never really been properly formed; in essence, it came down to the domination of a head-bank filled with my own personal wants and desires; connected, was a bizarre worship and adherence to social justice, specifically that of Liberation Theology. As a result, after having endured twelve years of parochial school - I graduated with a knowledge of Christianity that was nominal at best. Following my conscious, I decided that I was gay and disregarded the Irish Jesus as a bit of Celtic folklore on the same level as the leprechauns. A couple of years later, my worried parents semi-ambushed a coming home visit by inviting an Irish Catholic priest to stop by; we had a few drinks together, then laughed about the whole thing through a fog of near-inebriation.  Over the next few years, I repeatedly encountered a continually evolving cabal of priests, all with Irish surnames, who effortlessly drifted between the worlds of Catholicism and homosexuality. Already outside the Church, this only confirmed my judgment that Christ and Christianity were a fraud.*

*In a complete reversal, soon after being Saved from a life of death, I met an a newly ordained Catholic priest, with a distinctly Irish heritage; although proud of his ancestry, he came to occupy a wholly separate level of being: that of the American-born Irish-Catholic, who grew up, like myself, in the post-1960s chaos of moral decay and decadence; supremely formed in the religious life, he overcame the seemingly inherent dysfunction  of rampant alcoholism and abuse that moved strongly in many Irish families. His own self-healing, and that of his family-tree, created a kind of priest who could do the same for others; therefore out of the miserable failings of others - the Lord brought forth good.    

Friday, May 22, 2015

Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner: How Catholics Can Save Gay Lives

“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather even reprove them. For the things which are done by them in secret it is a shame even to speak of. But all things when they are reproved, are made manifest by the light.”
He had said, “you are light.” Now the light reproves by exposing the things which take place in the darkness. So that if you, says he, are virtuous, and conspicuous, the wicked will be unable to lie hidden. For just as when a candle is set, all are brought to light, and the thief cannot enter; so if your light shine, the wicked being discovered shall be caught. So then it is our duty to expose them. How then does our Lord say, “Judge not, that you be not judged?” Matthew 7:1-3 Paul did not say “judge,” he said “reprove,” that is, correct. And the words, “Judge not, that you be not judged,” He spoke with reference to very small errors. Indeed, He added, “Why do you behold the mote that is in your brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in your own eye?” But what Paul is saying is of this sort. As a wound, so long as it is imbedded and concealed outwardly, and runs beneath the surface, receives no attention, so also sin, as long as it is concealed, being as it were in darkness, is daringly committed in full security; but as soon as “it is made manifest,” becomes “light;” not indeed the sin itself, (for how could that be?) but the sinner. For when he has been brought out to light, when he has been admonished, when he has repented, when he has obtained pardon, have you not cleared away all his darkness? Have you not then healed his wound? Have you not called his unfruitfulness into fruit? Either this is his meaning, or else what I said above, that your life “being manifest, is light.” For no one hides an irreproachable life; whereas things which are hidden, are hidden by darkness covering them. ~ St. John Chrysostom, Homily 18 on Ephesians

The part I love most about St. John Chrysostom’s commentary on St. Paul’s “Letter” is the image of the candle. As a young kid, like many confused gay boys, I idolized Marilyn Monroe, and adored the song “Candle in the Wind” dedicated to her by Elton John. In the late-1980s, I walked silently holding a flickering candle during the annual AIDS March in San Francisco. Later, in 1994, I lit a cheap store-bought glass votive at the fresh grave of a friend who died from AIDS; it was one of those cold and miserably damp mid-winter days in South San Francisco - a blast of wind drove up the side of the cemetery hill and quickly blew out the little flame; I whimpered and walked away. 
In the gay world, the candle became cold and lifeless - a reminder of death and despair. I will never forget walking with my candle towards City Hall during the 1991 AIDS Vigil and seeing in front of me countless faces illuminated in yellow - I wondered what was beyond all this darkness. I had been gay for only a few years, and for only a few seconds, thought about leaving. But, that was an impossibility: here is where my friends were, my work, my life. Where could I go? Back home, during a quick visit, my parents semi-ambushed me with a Catholic priest who privately told me to temper my lifestyle a bit, otherwise I was doing fine. Hence, I staid. And, I walked slowly and steadily deeper and deeper into the black night of confusion and desperation. Stopped by God only at the very gates of hell. 

Author’s note: My prayer - that every gay man and woman will have a candle of Love and Truth in their life. And, what is that candle? The candle is you: in the form of a Faithful, courageous, and fearless Catholic. Like my former self, far too many homosexuals trapped in the life have a plethora of straight friends and family members who give them unconditional love, never judge them, or question their initial entrance into the lifestyle; instead, they cooperate in a strange practice of “coming-out;” gushing and heralding loudly the gay person’s boundless bravery. After the hugs and kisses - none of those well-wishers follow that soul into the darkness of sexual perversity that awaits them; at 18, on my first day in the Castro, I was set upon by numerous men promising to “make a man out of me;” a new buddy my age, a rather naive Mid-Westerner, after a few months in San Francisco, was HIV+ and died the following year; in the 1990s, I only wore black - as a funeral seemed a daily occurrence; since then, little has changed - while gay men account for about only 2% of the US population, they make up well over half of all HIV infections; young gay men are most affected, with 93% of all infections in the age group 13-19 years resulting from homosexual sex. 
Yet, despite the gravity of the present, and the inherent dangers of the future, many with close friends and family members who are gay - choose to believe the lie, or to stay quiet. For the most part, they remain blissfully ignorant as they fear the truth; or, they deny the truth in order to remain within the circle of friendship and dysfunction. In silence and capitulation, the ties with the homosexual person are preserved, and the dysfunctional family continues to gather and celebrate various holidays and special occasions while the fa├žade of normality perpetuates and bolsters the continuing entrapment within homosexuality. For, by collaborating and remaining dreamily complicit, you are making it extremely easy of the homosexual to stay in the lifestyle; in effect, you are contributing to the darkness; as the Light of Christ remains hidden from view. 
Therefore, let your candle burn brightly. Then, just how does one accomplish this? Like all great works of Mercy, this much be approached following the Gifts of the Holy Spirit: Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, Fortitude, Knowledge, Piety, and Fear of the Lord: Of these Gifts, in relation to becoming a light for the homosexual, the most important are: Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel, and Fortitude. First, educate yourself: read and understand “The Catechism of the Catholic Church” with regards to homosexuality; read the several “Letters” and “Pronouncements” from the Holy See on this issue; and read the works of Fr. John Harvey, the founder of Courage; Accept what you have studied in your heart and disregard the lies of the present culture - everything from the theory of gays being “born this way” to the myth of homosexual monogamy; Now, we can discern or judge between what is wrong and right according to the teachings of Christ as passed on by His Holy Church; The Divine plan for those suffering from same-sex attraction will be clearly evident to you; With courage we no longer have fear; we can pass on to others the Wisdom and Understanding that God Graced us with. Only, combined with these Gifts must be The Virtues (or Cardinal Virtues) of Prudence, Justice, Fortitude [Ibid], and Temperance. The tendency towards the good, which practicing The Virtues will encourage, can only develop through habitual prayer and fasting; therefore, before one ever even thinks of approaching or encountering a gay friend or relative - great time must be spent in prayer for that person; for Divine help; and for guidance; at the same time, fasting or other forms of suffering and supplication must be offered up in the name of the homosexual person. 
In all things, be prudent: never broach the subject of homosexuality with the afflicted person at a social gathering; unless, initiated by the person. At these events, be diligent and set up a future meeting that will be more intimate and more private. If they accept - approach them with love and kindness: say that you care for them, want the best for them, but are also genuinely worried and scared for their safety. Right away, this puts you on their side. Here, different tactics must be taken with different people: with the lapsed or former Catholic, a more direct approach is possible; for a mustard seed of Catholicism is worth more than a pound of something from another denomination; with other Christians, or those of no faith - a slower, gentler approach is best. First, tell them that God loves them - as they are, right now; it’s been my experience that most homosexuals have never heard this before. Then, ask them if they are happy. You may be surprised by the answer you get, as my experience has also overwhelming shown that the majority of people in the gay lifestyle often feign a blank sort of giddy happiness that thinly covers over a hard truth of genuine dissatisfaction and insecurity. During the conversation: bring up the subject of other family members, who you may or may not also be related to. With men, try to swerve the discussion towards their father; with women, their mother. This process may take several meetings; but, you will gain the person’s trust over time. 
Finally, you will call upon all the Gifts of the Holy Spirit and The Virtues to share the Good News. And, here, your candle will burn brightly; but, in order to do this - you must look closely at your own life, for you must be beyond reproach. This does not mean that your life has been a complete hagiography, you may have been severely compromised by sin, but the important things is that you currently are fully reconciled with the Church. With this in mind, explain to the person the workings of the Lord in your own life: how difficult and how rewarding it is conforming one’s will to the Will of God. Have some material for them at the ready: again, all of the books by Fr. John Harvey are a necessity; also the shorter, but equally profound “The Courage to Be Chaste” by Fr. Benedict Groeschel. In the majority of cases - this will be your last meeting. Often, the gay person will deliver an ultimatum: accept me for who I am or I will have nothing to do with you. At that point, take them at their word and say goodbye. Tell them that they are loved, that the door is always open, but that you can not stand by and watch as they destroy themselves. 
Now, you have set your candle on the windowsill; it will burn as a beacon to those looking for it. Your relative or friend may never turn around again to see it; they may die; but, you did what God commanded you to do: you witnessed the Truth - with kindness and fidelity. The other people in a gay man or woman’s circle of friends and relatives will continue to collaborate; slowly, because of their close association with an active homosexual, what little faith they may have will drift away - they will lash out at others, including you, and point to their love for that gay man or woman as proof that the Church is wrong. You will be banished; and, yes, hated. Only, anything is possible with God, and miracles happen every day - one moment may come, when that seemingly fulfilled gay relative will call you up, or e-mail you, or text you; because you were the singular human being in their lives that once told them the Truth. 


Thursday, May 21, 2015

Catholics Should Not Invite Same-Sex Couples to Thier Homes - Why Saying This Cost Me

Something that I am asked over and over again: “My brother/sister/uncle/aunt/cousin is gay, what do I do at family functions?” My first response is always that every action must come from a place of love and charity, never from anger, frustration, or hate. Second, we must never forget that God loves all His children, even those who are most lost; therefore, we must remain as a beacon of light in the darkness of the present age. Thirdly, we accomplish this by living a truly Catholic life which not only accepts the Teachings of the Church, but also upholds and promotes them: “Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season: reprove, entreat, rebuke in all patience and doctrine.” (2 Tim 4:2) 
The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in “Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexuals Persons” stated very clearly the obligation of all Christians concerning homosexuality: “Moral conscience requires that, in every occasion, Christians give witness to the whole moral truth, which is contradicted both by approval of homosexual acts and unjust discrimination against homosexual persons. Therefore, discreet and prudent actions can be effective; these might involve: unmasking the way in which such tolerance might be exploited or used in the service of ideology; stating clearly the immoral nature of these unions; …and, above all, to avoid exposing young people to erroneous ideas about sexuality and marriage that would deprive them of their necessary defenses and contribute to the spread of the phenomenon.” Within the Domestic Church, the family and home, this directive is imperative for the lay faithful - Love, but never accept; never shut the door to the earnest and the honestly confused; to the flagrant and the blasphemous - extreme caution. Entertaining a single person who is thoroughly enmeshed in homosexuality must be thoughtfully approached and backed-up by massive amounts of fasting and prayer; discretion should always be strictly adhered to when inviting such visitors who are openly gay to your home: young children ought to never be present, although the person must be treated with respect and kindness - (beforehand) they need to understand exactly and simply what are the teachings of the Church; then, unless the person is seriously contemplating leaving the gay lifestyle, this will most likely be your last contact with them. Only, this initial rejection of you is not necessarily a bad thing. 
Another matter entirely, as opposed to having over a single homosexual person, is inviting or allowing a same-sex couple into your home; again, the situation is rather different if the two people are asking for personal or spiritual advice. In a casual circumstance, such as a family dinner, holiday, or birthday party - same-sex couples are never to be invited. Heartless? On the contrary, refusing to partake in the physical and moral destruction of another human being is a basic Christian principle. Here, oftentimes, the line between a personal affection and kinship with the same-sex afflicted person is confused with the fact that he or she is partaking in a lifestyle that Scripture condemns as a “serious depravity.” To acquiesce, even silently at a social gathering, or to merely look the other way, is to give the person over to the powers of hell - without even a fight. Furthermore, your example, or lack of one, especially if you are publicly known as a practicing Catholic, sends a strong signal to everyone. Hence, when invited to someone else’s home and a same-sex couple will also be in attendance, politely decline. 
Why cause all these bad feelings? Why upset the relatives? Or ruin Christmas dinner? Better to have a few empty places at the dining-room table than to later attend the funeral of someone who died of AIDS or anal cancer, or liver failure. Because every lost soul needs someone in their lives that is a bright light. When I was lost in the fantasy of homosexuality, I could never see beyond the limits of the Castro District. My childhood had been marked by a series of horrendously inept and poorly catechized priests, sisters, and religion teachers. As an adult, my own family had drifted away from the Faith, and, I literally had no one to turn to. It was only through the Grace of God and the immense pity He took upon me - that I was saved at all. Though, all around me, friends in similar situations fell into the grave. Yet, if every gay person knows that they have someone - a man or woman that at one time told them the Truth, that they then lashed out at, and quickly banished from their lives; if that person was always waiting for them to return - then, they will have a safe place of refuge. For, there are many of those trapped in homosexuality, who cry themselves to sleep every night - they are scared and alone, and they need our help. 

Author’s note: In April of this year, I gave a talk in San Francisco where I warned those in attendance not to entertain same-sex couples in their homes. I posted an audio-version on YouTube and immediately started receiving feedback. The reaction was rather zealous; those that had previously supported my work - suddenly turned against me. They said I was bigoted, hate-filled, and narrow-minded. For most, what I said hit a bit too close to home: for years they had smiled and carried on polite conversations with friends and relatives, and their homosexual partners, at various functions and family get-togethers - then, afterwards, lambasting the current push for gay marriage. Many have called me to share their disappointment with what I said, even more - paid a visit to my shop to say what they thought of me. I said, well - It’s easy to be a Catholic when you never have to stand for anything. 

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Younger Kids “Coming Out” Fueling the Majority of HIV Infections

In the U.S., it is estimated that 63% of incident HIV infections in 2010 were among Y[Young]MSM despite the fact that they represent a very small portion of the population. Researchers at New York University's Center for Health, Identity, Behavior & Prevention Studies (CHIBPS) sought to identify the factors associated with incident HIV infection among a cohort of racially/ethnically and socioeconomically diverse young gay and bisexual men. They found that “younger average age at sexual debut with another man was also associated with a greater likelihood of HIV seroconversion.” In other words, those that “came-out” at a younger age were more likely to become HIV infected. This does not bode well for the future as a poll for Stonewall, a gay rights group, of 1,500 people who were already out found that among the over-60s the average age they had come out was 37. But those in their 30s had come out at an average age of 21, and in the group aged 18 to 24 it was 17.

Author’s note: As the media, educators, doctors, psychologists, and even politicians - President Obama’s “It Gets Better” plug, continually and aggressively push children at younger ages to accept their homosexuality, a tragic set of cascading events have taken place - similar to the unleashing of the initial AIDS epidemic which was spurred on by the excesses of the Sexual Revolution which came to be symbolized in the debauchery of the disco-era; today, in the maniacal need for same-sex marriage, and the resulting redefinition of homosexuality into a fantasy of domestic bliss, a generation of children have been collectively duped concerning the dangers inherent in the gay lifestyle. 

Link to HIV study:

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Role of Forgiveness in Same-Sex Attraction Recovery

St. Augustine said of anger: “It is better not to allow anger, however just and reasonable, to enter at all, than to admit it in ever so slight a degree; once admitted, it will not be easily expelled, for, though at first but a small plant, it will immediately grow into a large tree.” Therefore, not with love, but with anger does the emotional turmoil of the gay life begin. Inevitably, homosexual adults remember a childhood filled with feelings of loneliness, alienation, and rejection from family and peers. It’s often what drives and motivates them: the Matthew Shepard case is the quintessential modern example - of a slight and effeminate young man who recklessly and repeatedly sought out the “rough trade” bar pick-ups that represented his macho oil-rig worker father. I witnessed this same psychology, even in myself, over and over again in gay culture - most evident within the willingness of the passive partner to endure, often seek out, painful extremes in sex. Its root is a seething anger that often turns inward and becomes an extremely perverse form of self-hatred. 
Like all things gay, there is an origin within the family; most frequently, in males, a rejection by the father or a failure to identify with the masculine. This separation creates mystery, bitterness, and even hatred; most evidenced in the often bitchy character of some gay men who continually loathe and worship the image of the ideal male. In essence, it points to a desire to love and to be loved by the father, and to ultimately reject him; this psychosis is what eventually causes the hunt and run phenomena in the gay male sexual being - a restless desire to find satisfaction combined with a quick reversal towards disappointment; a strange pattern of choosing men most like our fathers - or like those that tortured us when we were children. Tragically, these stand-ins initially appear as sources of definitive succor - later developing into pits of confusion which inevitably breeds bitterness; towards the end of my imprisonment in gaydom - I spent many a depressing night at the local Castro piano bar listening to endless stories from faded and aged former glamour boys about the numerous men they once loved, but now hated. 
Many gay men relive this cycle of hatred throughout their lives: reaching out towards a realization of masculinity and family that they never achieved or enjoyed in adolescence; then, seeking in other men that which is missing; with it continuously eluding them. Tired and dejected, oftentimes, these men will settle into semi-comfortable convenient unions that forestall the encroachments of loneliness and a return towards isolation. True healing, reintegration into wholeness, and a lasting spirit of peace can only be found in forgiveness. As a whole, the gay community is further away than ever from this realization - with their repeated and vicious accusations of hatred against anyone who opposes same-sex marriage: again, this time on the world stage, homosexuals are playing out their need for love that repeatedly becomes corrupted by neurotic self-destruction and paranoia. For, hatred has become a quasi-religion for some - an impetus that further generates a push towards seclusion within homosexuality, and a deepening distance from the fundamental source of pain; only, the pain will take us back to a scary place - as every gay man can recount horror stories about their boyhood - ranging from the inconsequential to the violent; yet, in our darkest moments can be found the Light of Christ.